


We Saw Hannibal

by 1thy_truth_is_won0



Category: Hannibal (TV), Hannibal Lecter Series - All Media Types, Once Upon a Time in Wonderland (TV)
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Gen, mst3k-style
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-21
Updated: 2015-02-20
Packaged: 2018-02-14 01:42:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 3,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2173230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1thy_truth_is_won0/pseuds/1thy_truth_is_won0
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The cast of Once Upon a Time in Wonderland watches Hannibal. And they talk about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lizard sees Aperitif

**Author's Note:**

> So, Alice and the gang- including Cyrus' brothers- watches Hannibal. This is what happens when I have two marathons that are really close together.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lizard wants to see Hannibal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens when I have a Hannibal marathon and a OUATiW marathon.

_The OAUTiW gang watches the first episode of Hannibal, because Lizard has come back to life and requested it because they kept talking about it._

Will: Liz, we saw like three murders and two cannibals.

Liz: We live in Wonderland, where trees eat people, the Jabberwock and the Jabberwocky exist and I just came back from the dead and had to put back my own eyes. I can handle crazy dog guy and Fancy suit man talking with Morpheus. 

_After the episode._

Liz: I have to ask...

Will: That no one notices how creepy Hannibal is?

Liz: No, when did Hobbs, the dad, have time to put back the body?

Will: Sorry?

Liz: The cops were at the house all day they said, and I think the parents were too. When did Hobbs have time to go in there with the dead girl and put her in bed, in her nightie and leave without anyone noticing? 

_Everyone thinks about this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, can anyone tell me when Hobbs put back the body or did the cops found her sooner and decided not to say anything to her FBI and her parents?


	2. Hobbs had magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episode 2: Amuse-Bouche

_Everyone is sitting down and still thinking the last episode._

Cyrus: So we are all in agreement that he used magic, yes?

Everyone: Yes.

Cyrus: Good.

_They watch the Episode 2… Will leaves._

Liz: Umm…should I be worried that the words that came out of crazy mushroom guy made sense to me?

Anastasia: We live among talking flowers and giant caterpillars. This man would fit right in. Lets talk about the gift that is Ms. Lounds.

Liz: Yeah, she rocks. I’m still stuck on the fact that crazy mushroom guy made sense to me. He’s creepy and grows mushrooms and not the fun kind.

Alice: Would it make you feel better that it only gets stranger?

Liz: Oddly no.

Rafi: Wait…oh, I get it!

Everyone: What?

Rafi: She and Mr. Zellar were lovers and that is how she obtain the information on Graham and the rest.

Anastasia: Just figured this out now darling?

Rafi: Yes.

Anastasia: Good for you.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I believe Ana would like Freddie Lounds. Also, I made Cyrus and his brothers into Alvin and the Chipmunks. Rafi is Theodore.


	3. Will and Rafi are watching the World Cup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone, except Rafi and Wills, watches episode 3. Cyrus and Ana snarks, and Alice and Liz educates in the matter of disarming an opponent.

_Alice, Cyrus, Taj, Ana, Rafi, and Lizard are sitting down, watching Hannibal._

Alice: Where’s the Knave?

Liz: He’s watching a football match and something about a cup. And its in Spanish, so I don’t know what they’re talking about.

_In the other room Will is cheering._

Will: GOOOAAL!

Rafi looks at his brothers with pleading puppy eyes.

Taj: Go on.

_Rafi leaves. The rest watch Episode 3._

 Cyrus: Yes young man, attack the obviously traumatized girl who has a big knife in her hand and probably knows how to use it. Nothing bad could possibly happen. 

Liz: What a idiot. Also, Hannibal smiling is disturbing. Like that will be in my nightmares disturbing.

Cyrus: If he wanted to get information on what happened to his sister, why didn’t he talk to the FBI, or try to befriend Abigail or Graham? 

Alice: It was obvious that being confrontational and trespassing wasn't getting him anywhere.

Anastasia: This coming from the girl who will blatantly announce that she is armed in order to pass through a crowd.

Alice: I had to deal with you and Jafar. Also, if I was in the position of Mr. Boyle, I would have first disarm her, then subdue her, and if I could not do that, knock her out with some blunt object or bang her head against the wall.

Liz: I would have had some sleeping gas just in case, or maybe those taser things. Attacking from behind would have given me the advantage of surprise but the knife still needed to go.

Taj: So to sum up, you both have violent tendencies that would came in handy in certain scenarios.

Liz: Yup, I’m gonna go watch the game.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why I made Rafi and Will soccer fans.


	4. The Eggs look delicious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now its episode 4 "ŒUF"- how do you pronounce that?

_Will is sitting down and about to watch Hannibal._

 

Alice: I thought you didn’t like this show.

 

Will: I don’t, made a wager with Liz and now I have the rest of this with her.

 

_They watch the next episode._

 

Will: Well, they got the Lost Ones okay. All they need to do is switch Molly Shannon and the lad with the Shadow and teeny bopper Satan.

 

Lizard: Teeny bopper Satan?

 

Will: Have you met Pan? He looks twelve and yet we all had good reason to be terrified of him.

 

Lizard: So he’s Hannibal, only not as obvious?

 

Will: Yeah.

 

Alice: I seen that tea before.

 

Will: The mushroom tea that made the girl all creepy smiles?

 

Alice: Yes, the Hatter and March Hare served it during their tea parties. They never served it to me.

 

Lizard: Can I come next time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They use mushrooms a lot in Wonderland, so I figured they would have mushroom tea.


	5. Will Graham’s underpants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafi has learned about the use of a smart phone, Will would rather watch the game, and Cyrus knows things.

_Rafi is watching a soccer match on a phone with headphones. Everyone else is watching episode 5 "Coquilles."_

 

Taj: There are many scenes that have Graham in his underwear. Has anyone else notice this?

 

Anastasia: No, we haven’t.

 

Lizard: So a brain tumor won’t actually give you the ability to see evil?

 

Cyrus: Not that I am aware of. Nor I do know of the ability to accurately smell cancer, but the scent of disease. .. so what’s wrong with Graham?

 

Will: We know what’s wrong with him. How did the killer off himself like that hanging twenty feet above?

 

Cyrus: Its possible, it would be difficult, but I imagine he would. ..

 

_Cyrus goes on to explain how Angelmaker did what he did. The only one who isn’t horrified by the end of it is Alice._

 

Will: I’m getting a beer and I’m not coming back.

 

_Will leaves._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm going to try to post a chapter every Friday. Is that okay?
> 
> Comments make me happy and more incline to post more.


	6. Hannibal and Jafar Team-Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anastasia has a favorite and Taj will not have spoilers.

_After seeing Episode Six "Entree."_

 

Rafi: So is Ms. Lounds a sociopath?

 

Ana: No, she is ambitious, clever, cunning with a thirst for the truth and little regard for morality.

 

Liz: So she’s a step above Chilton? Because that guy is just screaming for a downfall. Hey, is Lass really dead? We didn’t see Hannibal kill her.

 

Taj: Rafi, say nothing.

 

Will: Can I say that Hannibal is a sick bastard?

 

Alice: You have been saying that, after every episode.

 

Will: He eats people, and now he’s mind screwing Crawford with an arm and a phone. How is he able to do any of that?

 

Ana: He is a very smart man, just be glad there isn’t an actual Hannibal Lector and teaming up with Jafar.

 

_The group thinks on that the scenario. Everyone shudders._

 

Cyrus: The best result we can hope is that Jafar kills him before Lector eats him and takes his power.

 

Alice: What about the Jabberwocky?

 

Will: Are you trying to give everyone nightmares?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alice is not trying to give everyone nightmares, she's just curious. Also, Taj will hogtie and gag Rafi before he spills out any spoilers.
> 
> Note: Comments makes me write more. Its a proven method.


	7. Fortune Telling Cheese

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will doesn't like Frank and Lizard learns something that freaks her out.

Will: How? How can you tell the future by cheese? Why would anyone want to tell the future by cheese?

 

Rafi: So they can have something to eat after they’re done?

 

Will: And how is it that we all hate the man who is into cheese and not the serial killer?

 

Anastasia: Because he's into cheese divination and thinks he’s Michael Jackson's savior.

 

Lizard: Yeah, Hannibal is going to kill him next, isn’t he? Also, what’s with the guy slicing people up to take stuff out? He just pull them out?

 

Anastasia: He’s not magic. So he can’t take out hearts the easy way. 

 

Lizard: …its easy to take out a person’s heart?

 

Anastasia: Its part of the beginner’s course when practicing dark arts.

 

Lizard: Okay, now I’m going now. 

 

_Lizard leaves quickly._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lizard will be back, she's just realized that Ana could have literally taken her heart. Also, I think tyromancy could be practiced in Wonderland.


	8. Lizard has an OTP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No likes Franklin and Will does not get tyromancy.

_Everyone is watching episode 8. Will covered his eyes when the human instrument scene._

 

Will: I hate this show.

 

Anastasia: Be glad you never went to the Queen of Hearts’ concerts. She would have the severed heads sing.

 

Alice: I remember that. Hatter always tried to block my view so I wouldn’t see.

 

Lizard: Yeah, that’s horrible. So when will Alana and Will get together?

 

Anastasia: Spoiler alert- they don’t.

 

Lizard: That sucks. Why not?

 

Alice:They just said why. They are not compatible. Will is unstable and Alan believes she may exploit him somehow and it would not be good for him.

 

Cyrus: Can we go back to the fact that a one-time ruler of your land entertained guests by way of severed heads?

 

Alice: Before that it was playing croquet with flamingos and hedgehogs. she would nail down servants to be the loops.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus is disturbed by Cora. Also, my headcannon is that Jefferson was a sort of surrogate father to Alice., when he wasn't crazy. And can anyone imagine a Cora and Jafar team-up?


	9. Lobotomy is not fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice, Will and Lizard watches episode 9 Tru Normad, and Alice reveals that she is a bit bitter anout the whole being locked up in an asylum.

Liz: Are you sure that Graham doesn’t have magic?

 

Will: No, he has an empathy disorder.

 

Liz: What is that? And how could he know all about the affair, and the adopted son and Abigail killing the guy down to how she did it and their reactions to it?

 

Will: I don’t know. Alice, you were around a bunch of head doctors, tell us about this stuff.

 

Alice: I was imprisoned in an asylum with doctors who kept saying that I was a liar and delusional, orderlies who restrained me at the drop of a hat, and the only way I could leave if I had an operation that would have resulted in part of my _brain_ removed.

 

Will: Never mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Personal headcanon: Alice found a book on modern mental health practice and it took Cyrus and the Chipmunks, Will, Lizard, and Ana with magic to keep her from going to Dr. Evil-- I mean Lygate- and smashing his face with the book.
> 
> Reviews make me happy.


	10. George has to be  Dead Like Me reference

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lizard questions Hannibal's actions. Will reminds her that's its Hannibal.

_Will and Lizard watches episode Hannibal episode ten Buffet Froid ._

 

Lizard: So Graham's brain is swelling up?

 

Will: Yes.

 

Lizard: To the point there will be no more room in his skull?

 

Will: Looks to be that way.

 

Lizard: And that’s why he has all these hallucinations, lost time and sleep walks?

Will: Yes.

 

Lizard: Okay, why does Hannibal wants him to stay in the dark in this? I thought he like Graham, like a lot.

 

Will: Isn't already bloody obvious that he’s the devil? People who he doesn't like he kills and eats, and people he likes he’ll just screw with. And then kills them.

 

Lizard: He’s going to do something to the face girl, isn’t’ he?

 

Will: She saw him kill the doctor, so yeah. 

 


	11. Colombian Neck Tie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus explains some stuff, is okay with spoilers and Will doesn't want to hear it.

_Will, Lizard, Anastasia and Cyrus watches episode 11 Roti. They get to the Colombian Neck Tie scene and Anastasia is burying her head in a pillow._

Ana: Oh god…it moved.

Cyrus: You have been to concerts of singing severed heads. You once gift wrapped a severed head.

Ana: There is no blood and they can be reattached.

Lizard: Is there such a thing as a Colombian necktie? And how can you do that?

Cyrus:  Well if I remember correctly, one would…

Will: NO! You will not finish that sentence. How would you bloody even know that?

Cyrus: One of my masters was surgeon. I sat in while he worked sometimes.

Lizard: And he pulled out people’s tongues through their throats?

Cyrus: No, but sometimes he had do operations on the throat. You see in order to…

Lizard: No, stop there. But anyway, does Chilton lives?

Cyrus: Yes.

Lizard:  Okay. Its great that Will is getting help and they’ll figure out what’s been done to him. That’s means that Hannibal is going to get caught, right?

 _No one responds_.

Lizard: ...Right? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They didn't let Rafi watch so he wouldn't spoil it.


	12. George dies, again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liz has questions, Will has a headache.

_Will and Lizard are watching Episode 11. After Georgia Machen’s death._

 

Lizard: Wait…where are face girl’s guards?

 

Will: What do you mean?

 

Lizard: She was on trial for killing two people. And she ain’t right in the head. Shouldn’t she have guards? At her door? Making sure she stays put and no one does anything to her?

 

Will: Hannibal came in when the bloke took a leak.

 

Lizard: What about security cameras?

 

Will: It’s a hospital. Why do they need cameras?

 

Lizard: To avoid a patient’s murder?

 

Will: Bloody hell, you wanted to watch this. Just let it go.

 

Lizard: Okay, so when are they gonna catch him?

 

Will fidgets: Just keep watching.

 

_End credits…_

 

Lizard: What. The. Hell? Put on the next episode.

 

Will: Liz…

 

Lizard: Now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make me happy.


	13. The Season Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They see the season finale- Lizard is not happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Hannibal or Once Upon a Time in Wonderland in any shape or form.

_Alice, Will and Lizard are watching episode 13, Lizard is picking up her dropped jaw._

Lizard: So Hannibal got away, Will is locked up with everyone thinking he’s a cannibal, Abigail is dead, Alana is crying and the lady doctor is probably eating people.

Alice: That is the sum of it.

Lizard: And what about his dogs?

Will: You are worried about his dogs?

Lizard: Yes.

Alice: Alana has them.

Lizard: Do they get together?

Alice and Will: No.

Lizard: I hate this show.

...

Lizard: Can we put on the next season now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, season 2 is next.


	14. Wendigo eats people

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now its time for Kaiseki.

_Will, Lizard, Taj, Cyrus and Alice are watching the first episode of S02._

Liz: So at some point, Hannibal and Jack are going to fight?

Alice: Yes

Liz: And he’s going to win?

Alice: Yes.

Liz: Jack should’ve just shot him.

Alice: Agreed.

Taj: Its wonderful to see your violent tendencies have not been lost.

Liz: You wouldn’t shoot him?

Taj: I would’ve decapitated him and burn both the head and body so he wouldn’t rise again.  
  
 _Wendigo scene comes up_.

Will: What in the bloody hell is that thing?

Cyrus: Its a wendigo, a monster that feasts on human flesh. Not usually in that form though.

Will: You’ve seen a wendigo?

Cyrus: Fought one actually. They particularly favor kidneys.

Will:… Bloody hell.

 _After the final scene_.

Liz: So the pyscho of the week is killing because he’s making a giant eye out of bodies?

Alice: Yes, that poor man. I mean the gentleman that woke up and stuck together.

Liz: Huh, that’s a pretty boring reason.

Taj: There is something wrong with us.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will, Taj and Lizard are watching Episode 2 Sakizuke.

Lizard, Will, and Tajare watching Episode 2  _Sakizuke_

 

Liz: So that’s why Anastasia isn’t here.

 

Taj: She vomited the last time. Poor girl. And went vegetarian for a month.

 

Will: We all went vegetarian for a month.

 

Liz: You butchered your own meat.

 

Will: Yeah, I know how this works. Now I have nightmares.

 

_After the Dr. Bedelia Du Maurier Scenes_

 

Liz: So she was smart enough to leave, but she can’t help free Will?

 

Will:  Haven’t we agreed that unless someone has a bomb, no one in this show should go after Hannibal?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus was not allowed to watch this episode because he knows things. Alice is with him. Ana is ruling her kingdom and Rafi is watching football.


	16. Anastasia will always watch a Freddie Lounds Scene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episode 3 Hassun.

_Alice, Cyrus Will, Lizard, and Anastasia are watching episode 3 ‘Hassun.’ They get to the scene at the bailiff’s house._

Will: Have you noticed that no one has a normal house in this show? Every bloody place is off- its way too empty, or clean, or has ugly wallpaper…

Cyrus: Or it has a corpse on fire.

Will: I’m talking about before the corpse. Like the normal house we’ve see is Graham’s and he has an army of dogs and a bed in the parlour. 

Cyrus: Hmm…

Anastasia: I am not convinced,. The homes seem no different than my own palace.  (Then everyone turns to her) Are you saying I have bad taste in interior decor?  

_Everyone makes an effort not to look at her. At the end._

Lizrd: Wait, Chilton actually described Hannibal and he couldn’t even see it? 

Cyrus: Didn’t we just agreed on the fact that he is an arrogant fool? Even when he is right, he is wrong.


	17. Beehive Lady would love Wonderland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taj and Ana talked about the messed up plant life in Wonderland.

_Taj, Anastasia, Will and Lizard are watching Episode 4 'Takiawase.' They get to the scene when the Beehive Lady confesses to the FBI._

Taj: She protected these people? How did she protect these people? How is turning them into human beehives protecting them? Who wants to become a beehive?

Ana: There’s the Boro Grove in the Dark Forest. That’s filled with people who decided to become trees.

Taj: Why would anyone want to become a tree?

Will: The flowers spray you with this some pink perfume and it makes you happy. And then you want to stay and become a tree. Forever. It almost happened to Alice.

Taj: (turns to Ana) What is with the plants in your realm? Are any them normal? Or not fatal?

Anastasia: The berries are safe... unless they're pale blue.

Taj: How do you function? Everything in your realm wants to kill you.

Ana, Will, Liz: Magic. 

_After the last scene._

Lizard: No, nonono.. He can't kill Beverley! 

Taj: We will  be skipping the opening of the next episode.

Anastasia: Noted. 

Will: Yeah. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No really, Wonderland is extremely dangerous, how does anyone normal live there? Everything there wants to kill you. I'm still wondering how a government functions there, because everything is crazy.


	18. RIP Beverly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lizard mourns Beverly's demise.

_Will and Lizard watches episode 5 Mukozuke._

Will: Liz, the next scene is pretty bloody messed up. Are you sure you want to go through with this?

Lizard: I know that Beverely is dead, okay. And he probably made some gourmet stew with her heart, so I’m fine with it. Just start it. 

Will: All right then.

_The scene with Beverly’s body._

Lizard: **May hell open up and drag you back in, you sick cannibal frea** k!

_Matthew Brown reveals himself to Will._

Lizard: How do they get these people? They pull out an ad saying "Looking for janitors aspiring to be serial killers?"

Will: I dunno, but they seem to take tips from Storybrooke.

_Then shows the scene with Hannibal and Matthew Brown_

Lizard: Kick the bucket already, stop with the monologue, he’s a corpse to be …Great now you’re dead. Why is he always saved?

Will: You heard Eddie Izzard- he's the devil. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the gang are helping out with Anastasia. There's a pesky dragon that needs slaying and she's too busy with a law that will bring equal rights for rabbits and griffins.


	19. A shipper's broken heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lizard steals Will's beer.

_During Season 2's episode 6 Futamono._

Alice: Where’s Lizard?

Will: We just saw the scene with the cannibal and the Bloom bird shagging. She just got up, stole my beer and left.  

Alice: And you’re still here because?

Will: I actually get a kick from seeing Eddie Izzard eating his own leg.

Alice: The clay dish?

Will: Yeah, who cooks with clay? Pretentious bastard. 

_Lizard comes back.She brings a new beer for Will._

Liz: What’d I miss?

Will: Hannibal kidnapped Eddie Izzard and gets away with it. And they eat his leg. And Jack is about to… yes.

_Jack finds Miriam Lass._

Lizard: She’s alive?!

Alice & Will: Yes.

Lizard: So she’ll tell them that its Hannibal and they’ll get him.

Alice & Will: No.

Lizard: I’m getting another beer. 


	20. Chilton? Really?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lizard is baffled by Chilton's arrest.

_Lizard, Will and Cyrus are watching episode 7 Yakimono. Lizard pauses the show._

Lizard: Chilton? He framed Chilton?

Cyrus: Yes.

Lizard: And they're buying it?

Cyrus: Yes.

Lizard: But its _Chilton_. The guy couldn't take on a newborn kitten. 

Cyrus: True.

Lizard: And he can't digest meat. And he has a cane and its Chilton.

Will: Yeah, well there's three dead blokes at his house and one being turned into sausages, so I'm getting a beer now.

_Will leaves to get a beer._

Lizard: He couldn't even escape. He's inadequacy of being a criminal should be evidence that he's not the Ripper.

Cyrus: There's more to discredit it later.

Lizard: Chilton...was Hannibal desperate or just wanted to screw with him?

_Will comes back to the part when Miriam Lass sees Chilton._

Will: They did this in Sherlock. 

Cyrus: And that case was torn to shreds as well.

_Chilton gets shot._

Lizard: Man, he has like a million reasons to sue. And yes, I know he's alive. I saw a bullet wound to the cheek. 

Later, when Will Graham visits Hannibal.

Lizard: I'm seeing a subtext here that's not that anymore. 


	21. The lady in the horse and the bird in the lady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lizard still does not Hannibal and Alana together and Ana is starting to be uncomfortable. And she has a twitter account.

_Taj, Will, Lizard and Anatasia watches episode 8 Su-zakana. And they see the bird fly out._

Lizard: So, how did the bird get in the lady? I mean, they had to use these special surgeon tools to get it out.

Taj: It was stuffed in her through her throat. Remember the dirt packed in there?

Lizard: Oh, okay. So, why was there a bird in the dead lady? Why was the dead lady in the horse?

Will: Just keep watching. ( _Then the scene with Hannibal and Alana comes; Lizard leaves_.)

_Mason and Margo comes in, and Ana leaves._

_At then end scene._

Lizard: Are they...are they going to kiss?

Will: No.

Lizard: But they look like they're going to kiss. 

Ana: And we are now  going into hannigram.

_They all look at Ana._

Ana: What? I do twitter.


End file.
